Tossing the baby out with the water

Day No. 3286....they are here again....sprawled across my beautiful expensive couches with no regard to laying down of sheets or blankets--they use the pillows as haphazard coverings and drool on the one under their head. As I drink my coffee, holding back the urge to kick the back of the couch in order to wake them up and get them off of my couch, I watch in pain as the squirm and scrounge their bodies into the fabric. I know they are sweaty and all I can remember is my mother saying how body oils destroy fabric and I grimace.
Back on day no. 2509, I found Febreeze.....once they leave I joyfully spray all the couches vehemently. The dogs keep their distance as I forcefully pull the trigger over and over hoping that it will fix more than just the smell of dirty boys...I pretend it does in my mind.
Hunger wakes them up. I used to make breakfast for them but that seemed to encourage them to come over more; stay longer. They leave to find egg sandwiches---I want one too, but know that this will force them to return with it and that would defeat my purpose. Do they fold the blankets or fix the pillows that they have strewn around the couch and floor before they leave??....no.
Each day I threaten that this is the LAST time we are doing this......one of my sons agrees with me--or so I think. They reappear just as I head off to bed. I turn off the lights, lock 2 out of 3 doors. I think positive thoughts that tonight I will have a break and no one will be camped out on my furniture. They are waiting.....they know my routine. They pry open the window and unlock the door. They raid my refridgerator. They go to sleep on my couch with every possible light on and the TV running. My electric bill gets yet another hit.
Yesterday, my husband announced that 2 of our boys are moving out soon to be closer to college and their sister...Today I announced that I am giving them my 2 overly used and abused couches...he asked me where I was getting the money for that.....well, from the 500 a month I will save in electricity, I will buy less Febreeze and my food bill will drop by a cool 1000.00 a month....I kid you NOT.
Day No. 3342.....I can hear the beep beep beep from the Old Brick furniture truck backing up my drive....:)